Not wanting

I feel like a ship lost at sea
without an anchor left to guide me.
Not wanting to continue feeling this way
and at the same time not wanting the feelings to go
away. Because then I will miss the part of him that
I still have.

I know that like all things in life that with time this
will get easier, but I am not sure how. My father was
the cornerstone that held everything together.

Even though I am trying to be strong for my mom,
it is so hard to see past my own pain. I often think
of how she feels being married to him for 35 years
and not having that person in her life, to share each
moment with. I feel so selfish for my own pain.

I will be out of commission for a few days my computer is getting some much needed work!