Monday, December 29, 2008

To talk less and listen more (long post)

My Mew Year resolutions of course are going to reflect what has been going on in the last year. Coming back to center has taught me alot about myself some good some bad.

1. Talk less and listen more
2. Grow deeper
3. Say I love you more
4. Be a better friend
5. Organizes and prioritize my life and belongings
(even though that has already started)
6. Laugh more
7. Build stronger family bonds
8. Not care what others think about how I live my life
(only how I feel about how I live my life, because in the end i am the one who answers for me)
9. Study more
10. Cry less

I know this may not seem big to you, but to me right now in life it is. Losing a driving force that was such a vital part of who I am, has knocked the wind out of me. I need to see things through to the end and take a look at what my life will say of me!

This is a song my sister sang at my dad's funeral it has taken on a whole new meaning for me!
Listen to the words carefully

Legacy by Nicole Norderman


I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me

And I enjoy an accolade like the rest

You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery

Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights

We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'

But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides

The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy

How will they remember me?

Did I choose to love?

Did I point to You enough To make a mark on things?

I want to leave an offering

A child of mercy and grace who blessed your name unapologetically

And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile

To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy

It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred

Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

So that is where I am right now!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


Today was spent shopping and playing the snow, mounds and mounds of snow. The Oklahomans visiting do not get to see this much snow. My nephew was like you live in the coolest place ever! They are having a blast and fighting over the snowball maker all at the same time! We will spend the evening cooking snacks laughing and breaking up fights! Yes, with seven kids in the house and only one being a girl it is bound to happen!

Merry Christmas my loves, may it be merry and the sweetness of the season run over you!
I am going to try to compose myself over the next two days we will see how well that works out... I miss him and his presence in my life.

Monday, December 22, 2008


Today the snow has fallen all day. Not sure if it plans on stopping. I have not been very productive even though I should be since we have company coming in. I have gone shopping in the snow, screamed like a maniac at my children and the way that they clean up after themselves. What is it about picking up is it a concept that they cannot grasp because they are boys? Or, is it much more sinister is it my fault because I have done a bad job at teaching them. not sure which. I have had several cups of coffee and am still in my funk. I am so not in the Christmas spirit and it is sad because it is normally my favorite time of year. This year I guess I don't have much to celebrate maybe next year will be better. I feel bad for the boys having such a crazy mom who cries for no reason and is all yelling about things. Hope the in-laws are not expecting to much because I don't have much to give. God this is depressing! yuk

Saturday, December 20, 2008


Everything in life has a season? Are the seasons what makes us better? Do they bring joy in the morning? I keep waiting for this season to pass and the new one to usher in. This year has been a long hard road for me. I feel as though ever aspect of me has changed. I am not sure if for the better. I hold on to faith and the meaning of what you were and what you will become, come only from what you have passed through. Profound, to think of what will come of this. This space in between that feels like it just goes on and never ends.
Trying to keep myself in the spirit of Christmas saying to myself I have to do it for the boys, but nothing seems the same anymore. Just wanting the sheer weight of it all to be lifted. There are still days that it feels unbearable, like I will crush underneath it. Some aren't so bad but everyday has pieces of it. If time heals all things then time needs to speed up! The hardest part is having everything be so different, not hear his voice everyday. The comfort, peace and encouragement that he would give. The wisdom that he had.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow

Yes, I know most of you are not covered in snow, but here in Utah it just keeps acomin'. Today we are getting another round this afternoon and it is rated at a 4 out of a scale of 1-5. Sounds like fun huh? So does 2 degrees tonight! No not really, I would much rather have 75 and playing at the park with a picnic!

Tonight is the 1st night of the Christmas play "Hark" it is a 1930's radio broadcast. The boys are in it and it runs for 3 days. I am the hospitality director this year. It has been fun, but I am ready for the show to get on the road. Next week My husbands brother and his family are coming in from Oklahoma to spend a White Christmas here in Utah with us. i am looking forward to having family around and the boys are geeked up to have cousins. I know they have always had them, but because out of our almost 9 years of marriage we have only lived by family for 18months of it! So they are super excited to have them here.

In case I do not write very much over the next week. May your Christmas be Merry and Bright and may all your Christmas's be white!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

How do I help you hang on?

My sister the only one of the six that I grew up with. The one who would sing "Open Arms" and "The Rose" to me while tickling my back when we were kids so that I would fall asleep, is struggling to stay above water so to speak. She is having a breakdown of sorts. She does not seem to be able to laugh her way out. This year has been the most straining on me and everyone in my family. Sometime you just stop and go seriously are you kidding me!!!

But, back to my sister she has had a pretty traumatic life to say the least. Yet she always bounced back with her sarcastic humor that kept her afloat. But, now for some reason her raft is sinking. How do you help someone that you love that is spiraling out of control? I know I cannot save her, though I wish that I could. She has 4 children and one grandchild. 3 of her kids are young enough that they need her to take care of them still. And my poor mom is having to watch all of this.

I cannot be him even though I wish I could. My father would have known what to do, how to fix this, how to help her, what to say. Yet I am at a loss once again and left crying with overwhelming grief. My heart aches at being so far away, not being able to help my sister or my mom. Who I know that if my sister cannot pull it together is going to suffer greatly watching this happen to her child. Without her husband there to soften the fall.

When I was younger my mother suffered from mental illness, I can only imagine what that is doing to her now. To watch her own daughter struggle through the realm of mental illness.

Why does life take so many turns for some and none for others? Is it by our own choices that we create our short comings? Is it really because we do not try enough, trust enough, or simply because we do not have faith in God? These are some of the questions swimming in my head.

Right now I wish the rain would stop falling and the sun would shine on my life for awhile and of those that I love.

Because seriously are you kidding me? Or My God My God why have you forsaken me? Tomorrow we will find out when she will be evaluated. I love you Carson and I hope that you can find your way again.

Here is the link to the songs see if you remember it Open Arms and this one The Rose

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Have you ever noticed?

Have you ever noticed how when there is a blanket of snow on the ground it illuminates the night? Well I do because when it snows I wish I had blackout curtains! I cannot stand light when I sleep! We have no street light because we live by cows and horses. It is all the moon and the snows fault. I swear you could drive in Utah at night in the winter with no headlights. I know when I move from here someday I will miss the snow. Just like I did when I left Maryland.
Today is full of cleaning and cooking getting ready for my husbands work party that we host at our house every year. I am sure he always prays for restraint of my mouth when his managers are at our house. Because we all know I just blurt out what I am thinking most of the time. No filter nope not me!
As the snow covers the ground and I think will this be my last year here, my last party with these people? In our lives the faces change so much, and everywhere I go I leave with a pocket full of friends and memories. He can start applying next September and who knows where will go next. See I don't care, I never really do, I will go anywhere. Every place changes me, every friend changes my life in someway. I am thankful for the ones that I have. you know a true friend when they stay in touch with you, as you trollop all over the country. When they come an visit you no matter where you are! I am thankful for the ones I have made here. they have kept me sane at times. All of my crazy MOPs mom's and Shanna my first friend here who now thanks to our company is in the last place I left!
I miss Shanna, I love having another wife who's husband works for the same company and knows my crazieness. When she and her kids could always hang out beacuse her life was just like mine. Who knows how crazy it can get in this life and all the reasons why! I miss her mad photography skills and showing me so much about everything. Our late night dates with hamburgers and a movie and no shortage of laughter! Hope we are back again together sometime!

Friday, December 12, 2008

It is sooo COLD...

Today is the gym, then Polar Express with the boys ! It will be fun K-3 has a friend in preschool whose family owns a train and they do a Polar Express thing so we are going. I am renting movies making homemade Chicken soup and finishing some shopping for the Party at our house on Sunday for the management staff at the blue shop! Tomorrow it is suppose to snow then snow most of the week! I am not in love with the cold and miss the 62 degree weather in Texas right now. I wish we could go to the park and play, or go to the dollar movies with Shanna and make cookies. So as you are warm with the sunshine on your skin think of me freezing with cracked skin on my hands!

I will try to post some pics later of the train ride if it does not get canceled, but it is raining ice right now!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

This time of year

I love this time of year when all of the Christmas family shows come on TV. There is never a shortage of snuggling on the couch watching a family special. I remember when I was a kid and the Disney movies came on, on Sunday nights. You would stay up later then normal eating pizza and watching the special movie. I love being with the boys and just hangin' out. All of the kisses and cuddles. I hope that they never stop being affectionate with me even though I am sure there will be a time when they do. So, I think I will enjoy the moment for what it is. For right now I am thankful for all of the shows on ABC family and know that I get to look forward to one being on every night until Christmas.

Just in case you are looking for some good ideas to do with the kids on break check out this website

they have some cute ideas!

Monday, December 8, 2008


I cannot say enough about the women who make up the fabric of my life...I LOVE THEM...

Today I talked to Madeline for a long time. She is so much fun she is twice my age and is such a source of inspiration and knowledge because she has already been there and done that! i love you haggatha :)

These women where would I be without them.

They make me laugh

They make me cry

They make me not take myself to seriously!

They take me as I am and if you know me you know that I can be hard to handle at times to say the least.

I got a card the other day from Karen... She is truly one of the nicest people and is always so giving of herself. I am so thankful to have her in my life! She knows just how to cheer me up!

I sent out happy mail to a few people...Shanna will be getting Christmas and birthday all in one I hope that it does not break in shipping Shanna.

Everywhere we move I am so amazed at the relationships that we create that stick with us through it all. The Mariners are a good example of that. All of the places we go and we always find friends that are just like having family, like here in Utah we have the Thomas family.

I know I am just rambling but unlike Shanna I look for ways to not have to do the laundry!

I feel blessed beyond measure today! I was going through alot last week and at one point was so upset I did not know where to turn, so of course I talked to my mom. After talking to my mom I was in the car listening to the radio and all 3 of the songs my sister sang at my dad's funeral and one that we did at the graveside together played one right after the other. Since then I have felt close to my dad even though he is not present. I felt as though God was looking right into my heart and knew what I needed in that moment.

So even though I know there will be tears still in the absence of a giant force in my life I feel as though we are not apart. I don't know how you feel about that and even before that happened to me I was not for sure how I felt about it but now I feel blessed! As I just sat in the car and let the tears wash over my soul. I am not a big cry person so when I do it really counts. That day I could not control it I just sat there like a crazy person crying in my car.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Wanting more

After the death of my dad I find myself wanting more. Maybe raw emotions make you feel like that, I am not sure. I am searching, longing, trying o find my way to a better me. Expecting more from others and maybe I am wrong for that.

I don't want to sit on the sidelines and watch life pass me over. I want to live out loud, outside myself. I want to enjoy the moments more with my children. I want to cherish and grow deeper. I want to laugh harder, not take myself so seriously. I want to dive deeper in my faith. I want to make each second count. I want my boys to know I love them. I want my husband to know that he is my one true love. I want my friends to know how much they mean to me.

So these are a few of the things I want for the New Year. The things I will be working to make happen.

More then just losing weight and being healthier physically, I want to change from the inside out!

Friday, November 28, 2008


Today I spent playing away the day with my boys...
They grow up so fast, you look away for a moment
and they are off to school.
We were wrestling tonight and I almost can't take
K-1 anymore he is getting so strong, plus he is almost
as big as I am.

Last night was fun we had a few couples over and ate a ton.
Played some games and chatted away the day till late into the

I am thankful for having friends it makes it easier to be away
from home...

Today hit the great sales at Wal*Mart gotta love that store:) wink wink

Then made my way over to Sears where they had Wii games for $11 can't beat that.

Now all my boys are asleep in the family room watching Star Wars Clone Wars.
I am truly blessed to be there mother. I love the little carrier monkies!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

To Be ThankFul...

To be thankful... to show have give admiration...
I have always tried to live a life showing thanks...
I am so truly thankful even in this mess...
I am thankful for peace though it may come and go...
I am thankful for husband and my sons...
they are the light of my world...thankful for my friends...
they hold me together...thankful for my gives me hope
for the future...thankful for life...for living and knowing...
thankful for memories...they make time stand still...
thankful for tears...they clear the fog in my head...
thankful for helps me keep going...
thankful for helps me to feel accomplished...
I am thankful that I live where I can have a voice...
where things are better and can be better...
Today I am just Thankful....

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Tidalwave of life

Today started out okay, I chatted away the morning with and old friend, tried to purge out some unused items,
worked out,
played with my kids,
got a good deal on meat at Wal*Mart :)
then came home and my world started crashing around me.

My mom and I had several unkind conversations with one another, both said things I am sure we wish we could take back and cried.

I know loss is hard, I didn't know that before, not before such an icon in my life had passed. Some days I do good to cope with my own grief let alone being exposed to others.

You feel as though your flesh is exposed, a gaping wound, seeping and drenched in pain. Like someone is tearing your insides out while you are conscious. The void is so vast that nothingness only remains.

I know this will pass for me and for her, but it is hard watching things knowing that it will never be the the same. Not know what is ahead. I know that she wants him back that he was her companion! He was her everything for 35 years. That he was my father for 33. I am not sure how to help her. At time you feel like you lost them both and that is ever more painful the just the one. Plus being 22 hours away doesn't help the feel either. Not being able to be there, to put your arms around her and let her know you are their and that you feel the same pain.

I try to no be self centered and at times I must admit it is hard. I am not normally a self-centered person.

Then I think at moments like these you know who your true friends are. They come to you aid, to rescue you from yourself. I have found a few of them and consider them the sweetest women I know!

Thank you for being my friend, for helping through this time, for being the life raft that I need right now. For stepping outside of yourself even though you have ever been where I am and just being a friend.

I love you for this and I hope that I can be the shoulder in your life when you meet this cross in the road. Thank you for being my bridge to the other side!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Missing things the way they were...

Today I find myself missing things the way they were. Wanting to here his voice and talk about my week. So instead we hung up the outside Christmas lights. Here in Utah you have to get them up before the snow comes.

Last week was a blur, everyday had lots of tasks and I think I only completed 1/2 of them on any given day. This week does not hold to much yet and I hope that I can keep it that way! I just need to clean and organize. I need to not want to just sleep and just get things done! I hope that your week holds promise of a brighter tomorrow along with mine.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I hate email

Since we have moved to Utah, I have had nothing but email problems! I hate email here it is so frustrating! Either I cannot send or I cannot receive! This place sometimes really makes me crazy!

Enough about that at least I can blog! Do you ever fill like you just have to much on your plate? That is how this week feels to me, maybe it is just the mood I am in. I get so irritated at how I feel and want to just feel normal again. I hope this is just not my new normal! Still plagued by the loss of my dad, trying to help my mom and my sister is feeling the same way. I wish I knew the answer to just feel joy once more. Some days are easy to get through and others just seem overwhelming. These are not normal emotions for me. I know that they are for most, but not me. I like to just be.

I am happy that time seems to be flying by me. Now that it is almost mid-November. I sit and think of where the time has gone. I am tempted to put up my Christmas tree that always seems to brighten my mood. Now to just find the time to be able to do that. Next week is a short week the boys only have school for 3 days so maybe then.

I know enough of my rambling. I am trying so hard to not just get stuck in this place. I am not a self-centered person and right now I feel like one.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

How do you make a difference?

I look around and see so many parents detached from everyday life with kids. Mostly, sadly mom's. How do we make a difference in the world.

Let me tell you how? One child at a time.
Make sure you encourage them.
Show them you love them.
Tell them your proud of them.
Push them beyond comfort zones.
Show them what hard work is.
Be the best example in there young lives.

The most important thing we can give is faith, ethic, imagination, perseverance and determination. Let them know that nothing is impossible if they work hard enough. If they don't like something they have the power to change it. All it takes is a conscious effort. Never lose hope, cling to faith and build on love.

I was reminded what I have lost by my sister who was having a bad day. Feeling overwhelmed still about losing our father. Missing that force that kept her going. My dad was so good about telling you how proud he was of you. Pointing out what you were good at and yet encouraging you in the areas that you needed to work on. Never sounding self righteous always pushing you to strive. Always showing you that he believed in you. I realize how many parents do not know what that looks like. How can we show something if we were never shown it? It takes making an effort to see beyond yourself.

I think that so many people get caught up living life that they lose sight of the most important things. Somewhere in there we have to stop and see today as a day to change. I feel as though I am a work in progress everyday of my life. Learning a lesson out of every day. Wanting to be better then what I am.

I want to be a better wife, a better mother, a better friend, a better listener, a better person...

I do not want to get lost in the busy nothingness of life, I always want to see today with renewed vision, faith and love.

I see them my four boys as hope and wanting a better way for them. i know I cannot keep them from failure nor do I want to. It was in the wreck of my life that I found myself, that I became who I am. I want them to know that it is never to late to change.

Sorry for all the reflecting and inner reflection posts guess it is just where I am at right now in life.

So as the snow falls here in Utah and the mountains are once again covered, I miss you my fair weathered friend if you were here we would grab a burger and laugh until we cried!

Monday, November 3, 2008

The weekend in retrospect

Instead of trick-or-treating we went to the church Harvest Festival. The boys had so much fun! They had all kinds of games and food, plus they snagged about 15lbs. of candy no joke. I wish they did not get so much, but we are going to send some of it to work with dad and also put some in the operation Christmas child boxes we are doing as a service project. I think that it is so important for my boys to know how to give back. They enjoy picking out gifts for others and helping package the boxes! I want them to know that in life it is easy come easy go. To always share and give back to those who are in need. To be an important part of a community that helps one another. the boys were sick all last week. That is the one thing that I hate about having a large family it takes so long to get over things. I finished our Christmas cards and hope to get them out after Thanksgiving. Hope that you are having a wonderful day I am off to clean!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

There is that better or should I say easier on your almost 33 year old eyes? I almost can't wait to send your birthday present I look for so long for just the right thing! I am trying to make myself wait at least until December!
I saw this over at Domestic Bliss it was a dress barn add. It fits my mood today!

Let yourself do something for others today.
Let yourself laugh.
Let yourself make funny faces.
Let yourself eat too much chocolate.
Let yourself meet someone smarter than you.
Let yourself be.
Let yourself entertain new possibilities.
Let yourself listen more.
Let yourself discover a new friend.
Let yourself whet new appetites.
Let yourself open up.
Let yourself think young.
Let yourself pass it along.
Let yourself be dramatic.
Let yourself experiment.
Let yourself twirl.
Let yourself cook up something new.
Let yourself spill the sprinkles.
Let yourself help others.
Let yourself be stirred.
Let yourself shine.
Hoping that your day is filled with laughter, love and creativity! Thanks Shanna for sharing the blogs that you like they are so inspiring!

Monday, October 27, 2008


Silvia is my longest relationship. We became friends by chance or fate. I was living in Fort Worth in an apartment complex and she was living there also. Though we would talk and make nice when we would see each other we really didn't know each other yet.

We were both in horrible relationships and making choices about them. We both decided to leave around the same time. We exchanged addresses and went our separate ways.

I started writing her and she was writing back. This is where intimate relationship happened. When you take a pen and put it to paper and pour out your soul for the other to read. This went on for several years, then talking on the phone and visiting one another once or twice a year.

Silvia is beautiful, thoughtful, talented, intense and emotional. She is my person the one who has always been there and is always there. She is the person that can tell you my emotion when I have no words. She is my heart without her there would be no me. She is my confident I love her immensely.

I could go on for days about her but I will leave you with that!

Thursday, October 23, 2008


Karen and I meet on a whim I called about some stamping products and she came over to show me a catalogue. We ended up talking half the night and then made plans to get I children together. We spent four years together and still talk quit a bit not as much as either one of us would like. you see Karen does not like to talk on the phone. I have always had privilege of being the one person she will talk to on the phone other then her sister Chrissy.

Karen is light hearted, funny, always on your side, compassionate and loves sports more then most men. Seriously she listens to sports radio in the car and no matter what sport it is on TV it is on in the background. She never misses a score. When my husband was at work and wanted to know something sports related he would ask me to call Karen and find out!

Even though we are far apart now when ever I talk to her we pick up right where we left off! I love that about Karen she is very even-kill.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Today Shanna

I found Shanna on line at We started chatting and figured out we had a lot of things in common. Our husbands both worked for the same company. We were both stay at home moms and were willing to do anything for our kids. So we decided to meet and have lunch let the boys play you know. Shanna showed up late. For a while I thought what am I doing this woman isn't not going to show up. So I checked my messages at home and she was running late! Shanna was very quite and shy as well. Yes, I like that kind of friend. They tend to be faithful.
We hit it off from the start and haven't stopped going since. Now that you have the low down on how we hooked up here is what I have to say about her.

I love Shanna she is so funny. She is a great mom, she spends alot of time with her kids and is always coming up with fun ideas to do with them. She is a great photographer, very compassionate. The first time I gave her a hug she stiffened up so that made me hug her even more. She finally got use to it:) We would hang out together and laugh the whole time. She has a beautiful smile. She is the kind of friend that will stand by you no matter what. She always has something nice to say. She has a way about her that just makes you happy to be around her. She is very open and free and non-judging. She wears her heart on the outside for the world to see. She was my first friend in Utah and I miss her deeply!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Friendship is a beautiful thing

We made it home safe and sound. We decided on short notice to go see some friends that moved back to Vegas this summer. It was so good to just be with them! I love them, our families blend together so naturally!

It never ceases to amaze me how friendships weave throughout my life making up the fabric of who I am. I am so blessed to have some of the most amazing women in my life. Tonight is all about Olivia.

We became friends in a away that I am sure alot of women do. We went on a field trip to the pumpkin patch with our kindergarten class. Our son's were already fast friends. She was quite and stand offish at first. I just kept bugging her until she was my friend. Me with my 4 boys and her with her 3 how could we not be friends. Soon we were tied together in more then one way. Her husband was looking for a new career and sooner then later he went to work for the same company as my husband. So that is how we became friends in the short version.

Olivia is and amazing woman. I admire her so much. She is very faithful to anyone but mostly to those she loves. She always knows how to make you laugh. She has a heart of gold. She is the kind of person who treats others how she wants to be treated. She isn't afraid to love. She does not let to many things get her down. She is beautiful even when she cries. She has a smile on her face when she wakes up in the morning. She is the kind of person that you can always take at their word. She is very honest, forgiving, compassionate, grace filled and oh so giving. Her laugh is infectious, her charm contagious and her love never failing.

I hope some of her character rubs off on me. Just being with her makes you happy. I am so blessed to call her my friend. Because I am given so much by just having her in my life!

I love you Liv thanks for havign us, feeding us, putting up with all our boy noise and I hope the smell leaves soon! Kiss the boys, and tell LL we love and miss him too.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

She is gone...

My mom left yesterday and I was flooded with emotion. I instantly thought of when I packed my family up and left Texas and my mom and dad were there. I never thought that would be the last time I would have seen him. The last hug and kiss from him. When my mom hugged and kissed me goodbye I just cried. I am so not a person who cries alot. I think the emotions of it all it one of the hardest parts for me.

Even though I think it my mind that it will not be the last time I see her and I have made plans to go home in the summer. You never really know when it will be the last time I see her. I know people often say love like there is no tomorrow.

But I seriously encourage you spend a little more time with the ones you love. make every moment count. Laugh a little longer, let your kisses linger so emotion that you hold inside. Tell people you love them more and be thankful for every moment with them. I want to make sure that the people in my life no how I feel even more now. It is something I never want to take for granted.

On a happier note... We are going to the pumpkin patch today, then tomorrow we are off to Vegas to spend time with some very close friends. you know those people the ones that feel like your favorite shirt. Warm, comfortable and you can be totally yourself with.

I am so excited to just get away. Now that I am finally feeling better.

I hope that your weekend is filled with love, joy and laughter. May you have more then your heart and hands can hold. Let the kisses linger!!!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Just for Shanna

I will post some more later this is all I have time for right now! Send me the link for what I am suppose to use:)

Today we have snow in the Valley... 6-8 inches over the weekend. You no you misses it! I am so not ready for it. Not if it is like last year! Right now it is falling like rain out there. The big fat flakes that make you think of New England winter's. So today is Potatoe soup for lunch and a roast for dinner!

I had some crunchy scrimps last night and thought of you...My fair weathered friend!
It is days like this that make me want to stay in bed. I so get how bears can sleep all winter.

I have baby shower invitations to do today along with house cleaning, yes I have neglected it. With my mom only being here for a matter of days more. I have just been enjoying the moment!

Hope you fall is warm and not snow covered like mine!

Monday, October 6, 2008


Today there was snow on the mountains again. I feel it coming winter that is! It sweeps in like a fog and settles for the long winter here in Utah. Last year it snowed from October to May and I do not remember a time between that span that snow was not on the ground. I am going to enjoy the last week with my mom, before she heads back to Oklahoma. Her being here has made it hit home even more that my dad is gone and will never walk into the room again.

Over the weekend a friend of mine took some family photos and some of my mom with the boys. It makes me think of all the time I wish I had back with him. The conversations left un had. After I work on them some I will post a few!

Last night we went to the movies, we trade of Sunday nights with a couple from church. While we were gone he cut K-2 and K-4's hair. I will have to post pics because K-4 has a Mohawk and k-2 has a military cut so cute. So later this evening I will post those so you can have a good laugh.

PS: Shanna I went to the purple turtle today and had only thoughts of you my dear friend!

Friday, October 3, 2008

It has been a whirlwind of a week

I swear as soon as school started around here we were off and running! It is crazy how much goes on in my day and how one day blends into the next! We are having company for dinner, on the menu... Steak garlic mash and veggies! So I will write more tomorrow we are having family pictures taken...

Friday, September 19, 2008

My Life in Motion

Well, I did it
yep, I did
I joined a gym
you know
one of those
things that I do
not normally do,
I am not sure
what has happened
to me!!! Something
has taken over my

Well, my mom made it safe and sound and we have been doing lots of running around! The boys have been loving having her here and getting to play with her cat Moxey.
You see I am a mean mom and will not let them have an animal till they can all take care of themselves in the bathroom! That is not to much to ask, considering I have been wiping behinds for the last year! I think it is rather a fair trade if you ask me!

Tomorrow holds scrapbooking with friends, playing with a new baby (no Shanna it does not make me want another on, you've gone CRAZY), food, and playing with the boys. Next Friday is my mom's birthday and I am think about dinner and Color Me Mine Pottery. Along with the HOLY COW boutique and the Blue Goose. My mom loves things like that! I hope that she enjoys it. I know that it will be a hard day for her.

It has been strange having her here, don't get me wrong i love it. It is just a constant reminder that he is gone from my life. I know it was hard for her today, because we have lived away most of our marriage and every time she has ever been with my children my dad was there also. K-3 and my dad always had a special bond, he asked me last night why grandpa was not here with grandma. SO sad for us all that he is not!

I am going to finish cleaning, yes I like to do it in the middle of the night. I like to play to much during the day. And, it unfortunately will not clean itself. Believe me I have waited long enough to see if it would.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

A work in Progress

Do you ever feel like you are a work in progress? I feel that way all the time. I will never be finished always incomplete. Everyday brings promise of change in my life, maybe because I am open to it. I learn something new about myself, things I like and don't like. The things that are the hardest are the things I don't like and that I need to work on so that I do change. I never pretend that I know it all because trust me I don't. I try not to talk about things that I have not been through and value people who have. I want to be open to listen to really hear what someone else has to say. I want to be a good friend the kind I want people to be to me. It is hard for me to understand people who cannot put themselves in someone Else's place because I do it all the time. I want to be compassionate to always admit when I am wrong. So, why do some people not or not even have that thing in them that says your wrong you have hurt someone?

On a lighter note K-2 turned 6 last Friday...someone tell me where the time goes? I cannot even tell anymore. Next time a wake up they are going to be off to college or having a baby of there own.

My mom is half way here. She is staying for about a month, it will be good for us all to get to be together.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Where do I go from here?

Today there is a haze in the air, the smell of rain and a fall musky kind of scent fills the air. Maybe that is why I fill the way I do. When you lose something you love so dearly, it fills like a haze covers you. Many days I wonder if the absence or the black whole of nothingness that covers me like a blanket will ever leave. I tell myself you have to move past this point and some days I feel like I can. But, others I feel like I am back at square one. I am so tired of tears filling my eyes and this ache in my heart. I wish the haze would lift from my eyes so that I could feel whole again. It is not easy feeling this way and having a crazy busy life like mine. The mother of 4 boys who need there mom to just be normal. Is this my new normal? I feel like everyday if I have something to say it is way to deep for the rest of the world. Where do I go from here? The silence of his booming voice giving me direction i my life, guiding me telling me it is going to be alright and that no matter what choice I make he will be with me to support me. He did even when I made the wrong choice at 16 to marry a crazy man. My dad was there and he was the one who picked me up when I wanted out 6 years later. He was the one who wiped away my tears and told me you do not have to be defined by this part of your life you can learn a valuable lesson and move on to greatness. He was there when I had my sons. He and my mom watched them when I went back to work and I was so grateful that they got to spend that time with them. He was always the person who could make me see the heart of humanity and love people for there differences. To realize that the world has many face and place.

He taught me to lay out the alter of my life and leave a mark on everyone I met. To show grace and love at all time (which I am still not very good at).

Again where do I go from here? I am not sure... The one thing I do kn0w is that I want to live out the example that I teach my sons. I want them to know I will always support them and love them...

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

What a week

Well with the BIG K gone it has been a long week, and honestly it has only been 2 days so far ! But, hey that is a long time to play single mom for a mother of 4. Last Friday K-2 had a carnival for school. What a time that was. Why parents do not see it as there responsibility to raise kids is something I do not understand. I think how my children are is a reflection of the love, discipline and time that I invest in them. Why the state of Utah does not see that I am not sure. What do parent's think the kids will turn out like! We are suppose to give them direction, teach them to be curdious, to treat others how they want to be treated. Not just let them run wild, sass you and be disrespectful to others. This has been one of my biggest issues with living here. Maybe that is because I come form the Midwest where everything is yes ma'am and no sir. Where the kids are kids and the adults are adult and until you are of a proper age you do not question the authority that God gave them over you! My mother would have slapped my face if I talked to her the way I hear kids talk to parents!

I expect my children to behave in public or at home. They need to use good manners and treat others how they want to be treated! They know that if the behave there are rewards and if they do not there will be consequences. That my friend is just the way it is. I am a woman in a house with 5 guys, they all know that I am the queen and they have to obey!

In return I love them, feed them all the foods they love and we get to do fun things because they are well behaved when we go somewhere.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Moving on...

K-2's teacher called this morning and he is being moved up to 1st grade math. You gotta love it when your child who just started kindergarten is being moved up in the 1st 2 weeks of school. He is a smart kid, I don't know what I am going to do with any of them when they will all be smarter then me by the time they are in the 3rd grade!

I am hoping my mom will be here before her birthday so we can help her celebrate it! It will be nice to get to have her around for a while. I had been missing them so much! It will give the boys a chance to get to play with her! She is a great grandma! She does all kinds of fun stuff with them and they love getting the extra attention! It will give her a break from life and a time to rest and get focused on herself now! I know that she can do anything that she sets her mind to. I wish she would write some children's books! Like an adventure for boys. There are no good books out there for boys! She use to make up stories when I was a kid with big glasses of chocolate milk it was the best.

Well I better be off to the rest of my laundry Shanna would be so proud at how organized I am getting now that I now longer have her around to waste my days with!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Vanilla Joy Love

Vanilla Joy is having a contest! For the next week! If you have never heard of vanilla joy is a great place to get creative date ideas, family fun,Kids face painting,discipline for children, and many more great ideas. SO if you haven't been there check it out.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Not wanting

I feel like a ship lost at sea
without an anchor left to guide me.
Not wanting to continue feeling this way
and at the same time not wanting the feelings to go
away. Because then I will miss the part of him that
I still have.

I know that like all things in life that with time this
will get easier, but I am not sure how. My father was
the cornerstone that held everything together.

Even though I am trying to be strong for my mom,
it is so hard to see past my own pain. I often think
of how she feels being married to him for 35 years
and not having that person in her life, to share each
moment with. I feel so selfish for my own pain.

I will be out of commission for a few days my computer is getting some much needed work!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Short Break

I will be off for a while...My father passed away on Friday 8/8/08 and I am out of town helping my mother.

Monday, August 4, 2008

2 Wheels and Big deals

We finally did it..we convinced him to give it a try..he thought he could not do he knows he can..

I am so proud of K-1 he is such a big guy it was a shame that he could not ride a 2 wheel bike. He would not start on the new one, but decided to give the old one a try. With daddy to help him, mommy, mimi and papa to cheer him he went it was that simple. Such a big guy so proud of him!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Hello,hello again lallaalla

We hello friend! The in-laws are in town this week. It is so nice to have family again! Since we have not seen anyone for a year now. I was showing them all the pictures from the last year and noticing that most of the good times were spent with Shanna and the gang. I miss them, I hope that they are loving Texas. We are planning a trip down next summer to hang out with them and my best friend Silvia. Today my mother-in-law and I are going to see Mama Mia. In Utah no one really does anything on Sunday's so it is a nice time to get out when there are no crowds! The boys are going fishing with Papa and daddy.

Last week was a blur. I was the director for Vacation Bible School and the week just flew by. With 100 kids what do you expect. It was a lot of fun, the boys had a ton of crafts when they came home.

I was lucky enough to score some school year kits by Becky Higgins. Angela had called me because she had gotten a hold of some. I was so excited. Thanks Angela you are fabulous for thinking of me!

Well I will post some pics soon! Hope your day is great!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Me vita loca

Well, it has been a whirlwind of a month!

July 24th what is that you say! Well it is the day Utah became a state. For all of you non-Utah readers I know this sounds strange. But, around here it is a big deal! Parades fireworks all kinds of cray. Me I went tubing down the Provo River! Fun yes, but not like the Guadalupe River back home! Still fun none the less!

Tomorrow is the start of Vacation Bible School. All the excitement! It is going to be a crazy week and on Friday! My in-laws will be here! I am so looking forward to them coming to visit. I have been feeling homesick more lately then ever. My mother-in-law will be able to fix that for me! A good Lemon meringue pie, Canasta till late in the night and Mama mia!

Ever since Shanna left I have been wishing I were back home. The comforts of food, shopping, and life like I know it. Have consumed my thoughts. Crickets it the hot sticky night air. I love Texas and i cannot wait for summer to come back around so that I can go home and visit!

Go back to the place where ya'll and ain't are apart of everyday life! Where it is so humid that you take a shower every time you go inside the house. Late nights at the pool are a must, ice cold sweet tea all day long. Sitting on the block after dark with all my friends just laughing and watching the kids play. These are the things that I miss about home!

Hang in there Shanna it will soon be apart of your life as well. You'll start to meet people and the kids will get into school and you'll all make friends, you will love it !

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

What would you do?

A good friend of mine called me upset last night at midnight... Her 16 year old son had just been picked up by the police. He and his cousin were doing art work in a public bathroom at a local park. I feel for her and it also makes me think of my own parents and all that I put them through. You see I was not a model child by any means. It does not mean that I did not have great parents who tried to do right by me. They really were good. It was me the bad kid. The best thing my parents ever did was work me to death. Remember this if nothing else. Idle Hands Bare no Fruit, so it is time to get to work.

So today I have two young men who are not bad kids. They are just making bad decisions pulling weeds in my yard, then they will trim the hedges and re stack boxes in the garage. I am also going to find some others for them to do work for this week. Poor kid I have already made him cry twice. But, it is good for him and hopefully this will help him understand,

That right now at his point in his life,
He is defining who he will be,
What kind of character, integrity and moral conduct he will have.

Right now he is choosing what kind of man he will be.

God help my boys, this is what I do to someone else's kid.

Everyday we are given should be a day that we see life and experience it. Cherish the moment make sure your kids know you love them and also make sure they know you will work them to death if they step out of line. Doing for others is what gives us perspective.

Working is what builds our character and shows us how productive we can be. It also helps for inward reflection. The best years of my life and the most defining we spent serving others...

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Someone tell me?

Please tell me where July has gone? In fourteen days I will be 33! The month has gone by so fast. I wish it would slow down some. Before I know it the boys will be off to school. The oldest will be in 2nd, then 1- in Kindergarten and the 3rd one in preschool. It will be K-4 and I at home he is turning 3. I think that he will be mad at me. Stuck at home with me while K-3 is at preschool 3 days a week and K-2 is at Kinder. I am sure I will not be as entertaining as he is accustom to. Being the youngest of 4 boys has it's perks. He knows all about Star Wars, how to play sports and how to get his way. The 3 older K's have spoiled him in his 3 years.

I love being the mom to 4 boys, the treat me like the Queen that I am! Adore everything that I say. i know this will be short lived someday they will notice girls!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Do you ever wish it would just Rain?

Today I wish it would just rain. To help clear the cobwebs out of my head. So many things have been rumbling around in there lately. I know that if it would just rain it would help! I am not an overly emotional person, but sometimes a girl just needs a good cry. Maybe, that is what I need because I haven't had one in a long time. i feel the pressure building just waiting to erupt.

Yesterday was great we went fishing all day. When my second oldest thought no one was looking he was doing a little funny dance down the road. I sat for a long time and just watched him. What an amazing person he is! He is so crazy I often wonder what is going on in his head. He was jerking and moving, shaking his rump all over the place. You never know what he'll do I swear.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Life takes turns

Isn't it funny how things change so quickly? How irony always plays apart? How we meet the right people at just the right time in life? How they change us?

Irony~ My friend Shanna is moving to Texas. Right by where I use to live.
I am sure this will be a big adjustment for them. I am confidant that they will fall in love with it!
It will take them sometime getting use to the flatness, no snow and everyone smiling and saying hi, how are you today honey, ya'll and all that.

But, they will learn to love it! It is so different from here. But when one place is all you have ever known it is a hard transition. I will miss her alot though! She was my 1st friend in Utah, but I know we will remain friends. Plus you never know where I will end up next!

I cannot wait to hangout with her and the kids on Friday...

Monday, June 16, 2008


Well CathyZ is doing a scrapbook giveaway over on her blog. So stop by and show some love! She is wanting you to tell her something positive about yourself that you like! I think that we spend way to much time thinking about what we do not like instead of the things we do like! So think about what you like about yourself and show yourself some love!

Friday, June 13, 2008

Things have been crazzzay

Life has been pretty much a blur for the last few week...
I had gone to the doctor because I just have not been feeling like myself.
He took me off my birth control and did tons of blood work.
We his office called the other night and my Thyroid is way off.
So, they started me on medication, but he would like to see me
to discuss the rest of his findings! In my mind never a good thing!
So my appointment is next Wednesday and will see what he has to say!

All I hope is to be back in the swing of things soon!
My life does not condone taking a nap everyday.
By afternoon my battery is completely gone.
So whatever I need to get done has to be done by the
morning or else it is not getting done!

Hope your life is doing well!

Hey friend, do not worry about crazy people! I never do!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Winds of Change...

I can always tell when things are about to change in my life. Most people, just the thought of change terrifies them! Me, I thrive on it. I love motion, knowing that something will cause me to redefine who I am. Stretch me make me a better person. Just to learn more about myself and others. My husband on the other hand would like for life to go off without a beat missed and always be constant. I try to encourage him to step out of his comfort zone and see what life has to offer. Change is never easy, but I am ready for anything it has to offer, so bring on the winds and the rain!

Monday, May 26, 2008


Horton Hears a Who

Today it was raining (again) so off we went to see Horton! Monday's are .50 if you have a party of 3 or more. You can't beat that for entertainment these days!

I have been very bad at blogging! I am still trying to unpack, get stuff ready for the garage sale this weekend, and we are finishing up our last week of school! Kevin maybe going to a summer reading program! I am so excited that he at least got into a Charter school! Just as soon as I find my house I will try to be a better blogger! This is my last week of my Photoshop class! It has been great!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

What defines who you are?

I have been thinking about this alot lately. What defines me? Is it my creativity, that I am a mother, wife or friend. Is it my faith? Is it the words that come out of my mouth? Is it the actions that I take? In what was could I change to be better. To move beyond who I am and evolve into a better mother, wife or friend.

I try to treat others as I want to be treated. I try to be the friend I want someone to be to me. At times I fall short of these goals, but I always start over when I do. Most of the time I want to change from the inside out, lately I want to change on the outside as well! All the lessons that life has taught me is to me grateful and thankful and everything else falls into place. Not always as fast as I would like for it to...

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Yes, I'm still here...

I am just trying to find my way amidst all the boxes! The trip was fabulous the wedding perfect...I will go into more detail later and hopefully post some pics!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Packing up Stacking up our Dreams...

So we are moving again, just this time it will be locally. It is so not fun moving. I should no I am by now a self proclaimed expert! Considering how many times I have done it, I should be! So needless to say I might be out of commission for a week or so. I leave for Maryland on Thursday in the midst of all this craziness! SO wish me luck!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Where does my time go?

I have no idea how the days pass by so fast? Today I went to a boutique show with a friend from MOPs. Then we went to story time at the library and out to lunch. I then went shopping to pick a few items for a project I am working on and to Walmart for some staples (in this house that means Mexican food item). By then it was time to pick the oldest up from school. We get home do homework, laundry and play. Then I am off to dinner with Sarah and Carrie to talk about the next 2 upcoming MOPs events. The garage sale and another scrapbook night! I have also signed on to be the Director for Vacation Bible School this year.

I love VBS! I remember when I was kid and going to VBS. It is so much fun for the kids. They get to learn, do crafts, make treats, play games, watch plays and sing. It lasts for a week. This year it starts on my birthday (yeah). So it runs from July 28th to August 1st. It is like a mini day camp for kids. So we have a lot to do before then!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

A Face Lift...

So my beautiful friend Shanna gave my blog a face lift. I love the new look! It is so me for those of you in the know! Good friends are hard to find and I was lucky to find this one when I first moved to Utah. Both our husbands work for the same company. She is a wonderful friend, a fabulous mother, she is always willing to give of herself and her time! For the last few weeks she has been helping me set up my flicker account and get all my pics transferred. That is a true friend!

So onto the next topic how do you deal with boys? They will do anything to make other boys laugh is this something that they grow out of? I have had a day today with K-1 and he hasn't even been home for an hour yet!

I thought this was funny who agrees?

What Rachel Means
You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Time goes by...

The last week was crazy. We did so much we went to the Aquarium, movies, Zion Nat'l Park and Discovery kids. I think the boys had a great time! The oldest turned 7 someone tell me where does the time go? It seems like only yesterday I gave birth to the kid! Now he is almost as big as I am. He is such a great guy, very loving and loyal. I hope that he always keeps that about him. He is so much like his dad. i love that guy :)

Friday, April 11, 2008

Snow Again

Well, it snowed again...The weather man promises it will be in the upper 60's and 70's next week... Spring Break is finally here, the boys and I have plans, plans, plans... We are going to get out and see some more of Utah! I only have 19 more days till I go to Maryland and I cannot wait. To hang out with my friends and see Court get married...
Well I hope that you have a Great Friday we are planning on it here...

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Moments "Oh'dear"

Everyday is made up by moments... One of my moments last night was cutting the boys hair. Oh you will love this...

Korbin~ do I have to get my haircut?
Me~ Yes, Korbin you look like a pixie!
Korbin~ Oh' dear...

The whole time I am cutting this kids hair he is saying "Oh'dear I'm going to be bald"...

The boys I share my life with make it worth wild. Over the last few years they have taught me so much about myself. They have shown me who I want to be!

To see the world through the eyes of a child. Where everything is beautiful, safe, loving and kind.

I have been told several times this week that I have good boys, and how do I do that?
I am never sure how to answer that question. Lots of times I feel like I am not doing enough. Life is the best lesson that we can teach and our example is the best that we can give our children.

So my new answer is "I tell them this is not a democracy it is a hierarchy and I am the QUEEN, and all must obey the queen"! People seem more then a little shocked by this here in Utah. Which makes it all the more fun for me!

Friday, April 4, 2008

So excited...

So I leave for Maryland in 26 days! I get to see Court get married! I love that girl like she is my own. Plus, I get to catch up with all my east coast girlfriends. That is the hard thing about moving all the time. You have great friendships, but do not always get to see them as much as you would like! None the less they are some of the best friends you could ever ask for. Thank God for the Internet!

I am leaving for a retreat in Park City today. I am so ready to go shopping. Park City reminds me more of home. It is nice to get the small break from the kids and my husband is gracious enough to understand the time away only makes me a better mom and wife. I love getting to recharge.

Kallen is having a tough time. He comes up to me and says "mom I am going to miss you while you are in Park Cities". I love my four guys so much. They are a great group of boys that I hope will be wonderful dad's and husbands someday!

I hope that you all have a great weekend....

Friday, March 28, 2008

I need Momma

I need momma, has to be some of my favorite words ever...

I hear them when someone gets hurt.
When someone needs help.
When someone needs love.

These simple words remind me of the joy of being a mother to my four boys. It seems like whenever I have had a rough day, those simple words remind me of love.

I never wanted to be a mother until I met Kevin. Then I agreed to have four children. I never would have thought that I would have ended up having four boys. Even more astounding that I would not just like it, but fall in love with it!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Another Day...

Yes, it is overcast outside, but yet we are still going to the park. No I haven't cleaned my house yet, but I will. Do you ever have those moments where you just need to get out? I am having one today! The rest of the week is going to be pretty nasty weather. So, even with cloud coverage we are going to the park! It seems like someone has been sick every week since we moved to Utah and I am so over it!

I have only 36 days till I go to Maryland to see Court get married to Joe. It will be fun to get to hang out with my girlfriends Karen and Charity. Karen is the one who got me into scrapbooking and was my 1st friend in MD. Charity and I hit it off right from the start she now has 4 boys just like me! So, I am excited and cannot wait. Court she was my nanny the 4 years we lived in Maryland, but she was more then that. She is like the little sister I never had. She is the one person who I know loves my boys just like I do. I am so happy for her, Joe seems like the perfect man for her!

Well I hope your Tuesday is a happy one...

Monday, March 10, 2008

Happy Birthday Kallen

Today is Kallen's 4th birthday! I am going to take him and his brother's to Max-and-Cheese! It is a new kid friendly restaurant in Orem. It sounds like fun, they can write on the wall with chalk, build Lego men and all kinds of kid stuff! They have an adult menu and a fun kids menu.

When we asked Kallen what he wanted to do for his birthday, he said he wanted to go bowling. So we are waiting for daddy to be off late this week for that. Seriously I am brave and do more with 4 small boys then most but bowling is not one of them!

So I hope you Monday is grand! I plan on hangin' out with 4 of my favorite guys toady and just having fun!

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Laughter is the best medicine

Last night we had a crop to help raise money in support of MOPs (Mother's of Preschoolers). It was so much fun! Lisa Bearnson and her sis Angela came by and they brought everyone Ali Edwards Courage of Hope mini book for everyone in attendance! They spent time just visiting with everyone and hanging out!

They are two of the nicest people I think that I have ever gotten to know! You know when you meet people like that, that they must come from an amazing family! You do not just get qualities like that from nothing! That is what I hope for. I hope that someday when my guys are all grown that they behave in a way that reflects the life that they have had. That is shows that Kevin and I have done a great job at raising loving, caring and giving men!

Giving is a priority me. I was raised serving soup at the mission in Dallas, Tx to the homeless, or my mom would take us to nursing homes when we were little and have us sing to the elderly. I've helped build schools on some of the toughest Indian Reservation in the US. I know it was through alot of these things that I became the person that I am now.

I want that for them. To know a life worth living is a life worth giving. To see the heart of humanity and understand that they can make a difference. So many people have nothing that they believe in, nothing that they feel strongly about. To often we live in a me society and that will never be the reality that they know.

It makes me think of the song "the Blessing" by John Waller here are the words:
John Waller - The Blessing From the album The Blessing

Chorus:Let it be said of us
While we walked among the living
Let it be said of us
By the ones we leave behind
Let it be said of us
That we lived to be a blessing for life
Let it be said of us
That we gave to reach the dying
Let it be said of us
By the fruit we leave behind
Let it be said of us
That our legacy is blessing for life
This day You set life, you set death right before us,
This day Every blessing and curse is a choice now
And we will choose to be a blessing for life
Let it be said of us
That our hearts belonged to Jesus
Let it be said of us
That we spoke the words of life
Let it be said of us
That our heritage is blessing for life
For your Kingdom, for our Children For the sake of every nation

So thank you Lisa and Angela for hanging out and making our night great!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

up swing...

Now that we are starting to feel better it is time to play catch up! Catch up on laundry, dishes and all sorts of cleaning. Not that my house is ever spotless, because living with 5 guys it will never be!

I am involved with a new recipe blog thanks to my beautiful friend Shanna over at Good Stuff Maynard so stop by and try out some of the good things these girls have been cookin' up!

Shanna is fabulous she was the first friend I made in Utah along with cooking she has been teaching me photography and lots of computer tips!

Well my laundry is beckoning me to come and finish it...

Sunday, March 2, 2008

7 Random things about me...

I was tagged by my beautiful friend Shanna so here we go:

  1. My mom needed a Rachel to go with her Rebekah and that is how I came to be.
  2. I am the youngest of six children.
  3. I have moved 43 times in my life and it seems to be a going trend still as an adult.
  4. I am a faithful friend once I love you, you are stuck with me for life no matter what!
  5. I know sign language.
  6. I love the colors green and orange something about them makes me happy.
  7. I am complex and easy going all at the same time...

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Hope filled joy!!!

All of my days seem to blend together anymore. The weeks seem to fly by! Not much has been happening just snow,snow,snow umm and more snow! Today was the first day that it was nice so needless to say every store and resturant in this area was full of people trying to get out and enjoy themselves.

I am going to Marylan in May and I cannot wait to just be around people that I love and I know love me! I miss them all so much and Court getting married is just the the topper.